A fancy Madison Ave doc whose office has its own iOS app said I would sleep better if I recite a children's story to wind down.

I have a huge sweet tooth, so I wrote a story about a dessert kingdom.

Hope this helps you sleep when you get a client email at 2AM..

Once upon a time there was a magical dessert kingdom. It had mountains made of ice cream, it snowed whipped cream, and its rivers flowed with Hershey’s chocolate syrup.


I arrived here after eating a peanut butter chocolate banana split in under a minute. After my last bite, I became drowsy and fell into a deep slumber.

I awoke on the bank of a chocolate river. Marshmallow sheep were grazing nearby in a field of Twizzlers. I spotted a Kit Kat bridge nearby. I crossed it and entered Cookie Town. 


Every house was made of gingerbread and decorated with gumdrops. Cookies of all shapes and sizes bustled through its narrow streets.


Darkness was falling, so I found a nearby inn. I paid with a Heath bar I had in my pocket, and slept in a cozy room on a mattress of marshmallows. A fire crackled in a graham cracker hearth.


The next morning, I went to find the mayor of Cookie Town and learn more about this magical land. His home was a grand house in the back of town. I knocked on the Cadbury bar door and entered. I found a jovial, elderly cookie sitting on a Reese’s peanut butter cup.


I asked him how I got here. He laughed and said he couldn’t stop the trend of healthy eating in my world, but he always wanted dessert lovers like me to have a safe space to indulge free of judgement. He said I can travel here anytime by eating a banana split in under a minute, just like I did the first time.


I thanked him and left the town to explore the vast, sugar-laden landscape.


Months passed. I got cavities, and I now knew it was time to return home. I headed back to Cookie Town and ate a banana split in under a minute at the Banana Bar near the entrance.


Every once in a while I’ll go back to eat dessert, hang with the mayor, and remember that life can be oh so sweet!

The Insomniac's Lullaby

A World Oh So Sweet!