The Insomniac's Lullaby

A World Oh So Sweet!

A fancy Madison Ave doc whose office has its own iOS app said I would sleep better if I recite a children's story to wind down.

I have a huge sweet tooth, so I wrote a story about a dessert kingdom.

Hope this helps you sleep when you get a client email at 2AM.

Once upon a time there was a magical dessert kingdom. It had mountains made of ice cream, it snowed whipped cream, and rivers flowed with chocolate syrup. Graham crackers were used as bridges, and cookies replaced humans.

I stumbled upon this land after eating a full banana split in under a minute. After my last bite, I became drowsy and fell into a deep slumber.


When I awoke, I was on the bank of a chocolate river. Marshmallow sheep were grazing nearby in a pasture of Twizzlers. I spotted a graham cracker bridge over yonder. I walked across it and found Cookie Town. 

Every house was made of gingerbread and decorated with cookies. It was bustling and full of cookies of all shapes and sizes meandering its narrow streets. I got myself a slice of apple pie from an old cookie lady and wandered. 

Darkness was falling, so I found a nearby inn. I paid with 2 chocolate chip cookies I found hanging from biscotti trees. I slept in a cozy room with a mattress made of marshmallows and a fire crackling near a door made of graham crackers and chocolate. Delightfully s’mores.

The Starburst sun shone brightly the next morning, and I rose to find the mayor of Cookie Town and learn more about this magical land. His home was a grand gingerbread house in the back of town. I knocked on the brownie brittle door and entered. I found a jovial, rotund, elderly cookie sitting on a Reese’s peanut butter cup.

I asked him how I got here. He laughed and said he couldn’t stop the onslaught of healthy eating in my world, but he always wanted dessert lovers like me to have a safe space free of judgement. He said I can travel here by eating a banana split in under a minute, just like I did the first time.

I thanked him for this explanation and left. I went to a few more towns and explored ice cream mountains, M&Ms deserts, Twix jungles, and marveled at how everything was edible!

I had to leave once I got cavities, so I headed back to Cookie Town to eat a banana split in under a minute at the Banana Bar near the town’s entrance. I passed out and ended up back in my world. Still every once in a while I’ll go back to just to eat desserts and hang with the mayor.